


No Homo! Unless...

by keitaiijima



Series: Junior High Moments [7]
Category: Battle Royale - All Media Types, Battle Royale - Takami Koushun
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 07:01:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25346638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keitaiijima/pseuds/keitaiijima
Summary: Keita Iijima notices Shinji Mimura starts acting differently around him after they spend a day alone together in town. He draws the only natural conclusion as to why.Note: This is part of a non-linear series all set in the same universe but can also be definitely read independently.
Relationships: Mimura Shinji/IIjima Keita, One-Sided - Relationship, ish - Relationship
Series: Junior High Moments [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2059632
Comments: 6
Kudos: 5





	No Homo! Unless...

**Author's Note:**

  * For [PimpedOutGreenEars](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PimpedOutGreenEars/gifts).



Despite popular belief, Keita Iijima was not stupid. In fact, he liked to consider himself on of the smarter members of their friend group. Sure, maybe it did not reflect in his grades or accomplishments or social interactions. But he was _streetsmart_. He could read people. And right now, he was beginning to very easily read Shinji Mimura.

A couple of weeks ago, Keita and Shinji had found themselves alone in town together. They had seen a movie, gone to a couple of bookstores, Keita had bailed when Shinji got into a fight, he had then gotten ice-cream on the way home, and offered to give Shinji a few licks of it during the train ride, which was filled with the kind of comfortable silence one only shares with really good friends.  
All in all, it had been a great day.

However, the following weeks, Shinji had seemed a little strange. Different, in some way.  
By the time they started their third year that April, it was unmistakable. Shinji was avoiding him. Sure, all of them had hung out together as a group during their break between the years, but whenever Keita popped Shinji a message asking if they should do something just the two of them, to repeat last time’s success, Shinji was always “busy”.

Try as he might, initially Keita could not figure out what had prompted the change. Was Shinji mad about something? No, surely Keita would remember if he had done something that had pissed the other off.  
_If he’s not mad, what can it be…?_

The answer suddenly hit him during their Orientation Day. They whole group were sitting together on the grass at the back of the school, reading through their timetables and hanging out before the last ceremony of the day. The only exception was Hiroki, who was off somewhere with Takako.  
They were all excited to have been put in the same class together again for this final year of Junior High.  
Keita was currently watching Shuya play some random chords on his guitar ( _Man, I need to learn how to play! The ladies find it soo irresistible_ , Keita thought, noting how Yukie and her group had sat down nearby, some of them sending Shuya longing looks), when he realized.  
Yoshitoki was also looking at Shuya, a teasing smile on his face, as he listened to his friend making up a new song on the spot.  
“I think you got a new hit there, dude,” he joked, as the song did not really have any coherent beat or melody to it at all as of now.  
Keita narrowed his eyes suspiciously. Sarcastic teasing? Shinji had done that to him lately too. Just now, when they had gotten sorted into their classes, Shinji had dryly suggested that Keita should consider transferring to 3-A.

As things started to click, Keita’s eyes quickly widened.  
“Nobu!” he exclaimed, so loud the others jumped slightly. “Man! We gotta _talk_!”  
Leaping to his feet, Keita pulled Yoshitoki up by the arm too, dragging him behind him over to a tree, a safe distance away from their other friends.  
“Uh, okay. Okay. What…?” Yoshitoki kept mumbling, clearly confused by what had come over Keita _this time_.  
  


Keita decided to just get straight to the case.  
“Nobu, thing is… I got a gay question for you,” he blurted out, making Yoshitoki’s eyes widen in surprise.  
“I… Wait… What?” he stammered, looking over his shoulder to make sure the girls nearby were not listening in.  
Nodding, Keita continued. “Yeah. And as the only gay person I know – “  
“- What? Keita! For the last time _, I’m not gay_!”  
Keita started at him, blinking. “Huh?”  
“We’ve been over this! A _million times_ , dude! Remember before our break, you guys were trying to help me confess to Nakagawa?” Yoshitoki continued, obviously disheartened that Keita had forgotten already.  
Though Keita did have to admit, this was starting to sound vaguely familiar.  
“Oh…” he mumbled, frowning in thought.  
“And last weekend at Yutaka’s place, I was asking for more advice – though not from _you_ \- , remember?”  
Keita nodded slowly.  
“Oh yeah. Now that you mention it…” he said, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. “So, the thing with you and Nanahara…-“  
“- It’s not a thing! We’re friends. Like brothers!” Yoshitoki insisted with a deep sigh. “What made you even bring this up, anyway?”

  
Keita bit his lip. Maybe Yoshitoki would turn out to be no help, as usual.  
“It’s just… Shinji has started being sorta weird.”  
“Like weird how?” Yoshitoki asked curiously, seemingly genuinely interested in helping out.  
Keita thought about how to explain the odd behaviour he had noticed.  
“Like… He seems almost jumpy around me, you know? Like he pulls back when I’m around. And doesn’t answer my messages or calls! And give like, short replies to things.”  
Yoshitoki frowned. “Sounds like maybe he’s mad or something? Did you have a fight?”  
Keita groaned; he had known Yoshitoki’s input would be useless.  
“No, of course not! Nothing happened. That’s why I’m soo totally confused;” he insisted, glancing over at Shinji who was sitting on the grass with the rest of their friends. “Forget it. I’ll find out somehow,” he concluded, turning to walk towards their group as Yoshitoki was left scratching his head.

* * *

As the day progressed, Keita got more examples to add to his “odd behaviour” list. When asked to hand out the reading list for Language class, he accidentally brushed his hand against Shinji’s when he got to his desk. Shinji retracted the hand quickly, looking at him with an expression of pure conflict (others might have called it “disgust”, but Keita certainly did not see it that way). Had Shinji felt some kind of electricity, causing him to react like this? The idea made Keita feel… weird, too. Tingly, in a way. He gave Shinji a knowing smile, which in turn made Shinji’s brows furrow deeper. It was beginning to feel like they shared a secret between just the two of them.

When the group were about to split up to walk home for the day, Shinji said he would go sign up for basketball again before heading home, and that the others could go ahead. Shuya had already ran off to music club for their sign-ups, which meant Shinji would be going alone.  
“Hey, man. I can totally wait for you!” Keita spoke up, giving him another knowing smile. Shinji looked at him calmly, shaking his head.  
“Nah. I think I can find my way home on my own. _Thanks_ , though,” he replied coldly.  
Yutaka nudged Keita. “Come on. We’ll just walk together. I have to get home to help my parents out with something.”  
Keita looked at Shinji, trying to study his expression to discover the double meaning behind his words. He said no, but what if he was just being coy? Sure, that was not like the Third Man at all, but nothing was usual about this whole situation.  
“Yeah, but I could just wait for Shinji –“  
“- For the love of God, no. Please, go,” Shinji snapped, a bit more impatient, before resuming a calm expression. “I’m gonna be late. See you guys tomorrow.”

 _Can he be more obvious?_ Keita thought, his mind spinning. Shinji was obviously nervous to be alone with him again. It was all pointing to the very obvious answer…  
_Holy shiiit. He totally **is** in love with me!_

Keita spent the rest of the evening lying in bed, trying to come up with a solution to this problem. As far as he knew, no one had ever had a crush on him before (shockingly enough) and now, his best friend in the world had finally fallen for his charms and boyish good looks. Keita could not blame him, but he was unsure on how to deal with it all. He had never considered the possibility of being with a _guy_ … And Shinji was such a player with girls, so naturally, he had never imagined he would turn out to be into dudes either.  
Sighing, Keita popped Shinji a message on social media. Surely it would be better to just talk about it?  
The little green dot next to Shinji’s name quickly disappeared after Keita’s message got delivered. Weird, but it was 9 PM, so maybe he had gone to bed.

Keita however could not fall asleep. He ended up going online and searched for “How to be gay with your best friend”, before realizing homosexuality was illegal in their country, and then spent thirty minutes panicking that the National Guard would show up armed on his door to haul him away to some kind of prison cell after going through his search history.  
He decided to try a more old-fashion way of brainstorming. Sneaking into his older sister’s room, Keita snatched up one of her teenage magazines, knowing she and her friends always had a lot of fun taking different quizzes and reading advice about boys in them.  
The quiz featured in this particular magazine was _“How to know if a boy likes you?”.  
Bingo.  
  
_Taking his time to make sure he answered everything correctly, Keita looked at the results with mixed emotions.  
_“You got: He doesn’t even know you. Sorry, but he doesn’t even know you! You have no relationship whatsoever, so try your best to move on!”  
_Well, that sure was inaccurate. He might as well have tried asking Yoshitoki again instead. Tossing the magazine to the side, it felt like he was really getting nowhere. His best bet would be just talk to Shinji directly. And there was still the issue of what Keita himself wanted too. He could not possibly try to make it work with a guy, right? Even if the guy was super attractive and smart and funny and handsome with a cute little… _No! What’s happening to me?!  
_Covering his face with his pillow, Keita muffled a scream into it. Man, suddenly being this popular was so hard.

* * *

That night, Keita had a dream. He had these very realistic dreams from time to time, and tonight was one of those times. In the dream, he walked through a meadow filled with sunflowers, a light breeze blowing through his hair. Feeling the top of his head, he realized he was wearing some kind of flower crown. He probably looked sensational.   
“Keitaaaa,” someone called out to him. Turning his head, Keita saw it. It was Shinji. He was shirtless, his hair flowing in the wind, the earring shining in the sunlight. He was riding towards Keita on… An alpaca? No time to dwell over the reasonings behind that. As he stopped in front of Keita, Shinji reached a hand down to him.  
“Come with me, baby. I can show you the world. Shining. Shimmering. Splendid,” he said seductively, as Keita grabbed his hand in return, smiling weakly up at his prince.  
“Yeah… Then maybe we can grab some pizza?” he suggested, his mouth watering. Shinji winked.  
“Anything for you.”  
  
Waking up, Keita could only mutter a low “wow” to himself. If this was what a relationship with Shinji would be like… Then he could definitely get on board with it.

* * *

Before school, Keita took an extra long shower. Well, any shower was an extra long shower; he usually limited himself to a couple of showers a week, like after gym class. But if he was going to make a move, he should probably smell great. He even shaved his legs, which was another tip he had picked up from the magazine. He sprayed himself with some of his sister’s perfume, wondering if anyone would comment on his new freshness.

On his way to school, he plucked some flowers from the side of the road. Alright, Kazuhiko Yamamoto had plucked some for Sakura Ogawa and made the mistake of leaving it on the metal fence by the gates when he leaned in to kiss her as he greeted her that morning, allowing Keita to snatch them up an make a run for it. He figured it was the thought that counted.  
Figuring it was more romantic to deliver them anonymously, he pressed them into the cracks in Shinji’s locker, probably ruining most of their beauty in the process.

  
Later overhearing Shinji tell Yutaka about the flowers from a new secret admirer in the classroom, Keita grinned to himself.  
“Jeez, I wonder who it could be,” he commented loudly, whistling as he looked out the window.  
Shinji raised a brow in his direction but did not comment on it.  
_Still playing hard to get. Man, this chase is totally fun._

In gym class, Keita decided to try some of Shinji’s own flirting techniques on him, to see if he would catch on to the fact that Keita knew, and that he did not mind. Like, at all.  
At first, he pretended to ignore Shinji. Which was kind of difficult, considering Shinji was already seemingly ignoring _him_ in the first place. As a result, Shinji just seemed to carry on as if nothing was different. However, Keita did notice he looked a bit more relaxed and content. Perhaps the technique was working, and Shinji understood that Keita’s behaviour meant he felt the same way?

Either way, it soon got boring. Keita became starved of attention in a matter of minutes, and moved on to step two. Playful teasing.  
“Hey, Shinji,” he said, throwing the basketball they were playing around with into the arms of the other. He jumped around him, not letting Shinji dodge away. “I gotta tell you something!”  
Shinji, who was mentally groaning at the fact that Keita had only left him alone for like ten minutes, glanced at him.  
“Yeah?” he aske with a sigh, trying to hide some of his distain.  
“Is it just me or is your hair looking rough lately? Maybe try a new gel. Heh!” Keita said with a wink. Shinji stared at him for a few seconds, before proceeding to run off with the ball, dunking it into the basket.  
_Aww. He’s trying to impress me! So cute!_ Keita figured, not able to keep from smiling.  
Hiroki, who had been lurking quietly behind them and heard the insult, cleared his throat.  
“Ahem. Iijima, are you… Flirting?” he asked, a slight frown on his face. He recognized this kind of flirting well.  
Keita raised a finger against his own lips, hushing him.  
“We’re not really… Open about it yet! Heh! So please keep it a secret!” he asked, to which Hiroki only nodded in response, looking quite perplexed, but no longer surprised by anything his friends did.

Considering both the playful flirting and the ignoring had the desired effect on Shinji, whatever doubts remained had completely vanished. Keita was feeling totally confident he was about to score his first ever date. As the group headed back towards the school’s main building from the gym, he grabbed Shinji by the arm.  
“Erm. Hey, man. I was wondering if we could talk for a sec?” he suggested, giving him what he hoped was a seductive smile. Shinji looked a little puzzled but nodded.  
“Yeah. Maybe we should, actually,” he agreed.  
_So he’s done with playing these games too? Awesome._

The others walked up ahead, with Yutaka waiting by the door, sending curious glances in Keita and Shinji’s direction.  
_It’s now or never,_ Keita thought, taking a deep breath.  
“So like… I guess I’ve noticed things have been sorta weird lately. Ever since our break. Well, right before our break, or whatever,” he began, biting his lip.  
Shinji did not say anything, but he did look a little more intrigued. Keita saw this as an encouragement to go on, whilst in reality Shinji was just surprised and even a little impressed that Keita had picked up on the social cues he had been sending out.  
“And I think I know what’s going on,” Keita continued, looking directly up into the other’s eyes  
Shinji nodded slowly. “Yeah? Good job,” he said, a little softer than how his tone had been towards him recently, despite the obvious sarcasm.  
“I really thought about it, because… I didn’t get what had happened or anything. But then it became so clear. Like, how could I’ve been so stupid?! Anyway… It’s obvious you’ve fallen in love with me,” Keita finally sighed, giving Shinji a moment to take in that he had seen right through him.

Shinji stared. Somehow, even though it had seemed like a miracle that Keita had put two and two together as to why Shinji was mad at him, the conclusion he had drawn was even _more_ crazy. After the two had looked at each other for a small eternity, Shinji finally burst into a loud laugh.  
“Oh. My. God,” he managed to get out between the fits of laughter. Keita smiled patiently, waiting for him to compose himself so that he could confirm his theory.  
“Iijima. That’s… The craziest thing I’ve ever heard. In love with you? Did that ball I- _Someone_ \- throw at you in class give you brain damage?”

  
Keita rubbed the back of his neck, now frowning. This was too confusing. Was Shinji playing coy?  
“Erm. Yeah. The playing hard to get with the ignoring. The flirty teasing. The… You know. The seductive stares?” he suggested uncertainly, as Shinji was gradually able to stop crying from laughter.  
“Yeah. No. No. None of that. I was just… It doesn’t matter. Iijima, I’m _not_ in love with you,” he said, a bit more serious now to let Keita understand he was not joking.  
“But… You liked the flowers?” Keita asked, noticing his voice sounded a little hopeful.  
“Those were from you? Okay. What the hell is going on?” Shinji asked, looking just as confused as Keita felt.  
“I thought I’d make the first move! Your signs were so obvious!” Keita tried to defend himself, now not sure what to believe.  
Sighing, Shinji shook his head.  
“Okay. Let me make it very clear. I’m not in love with you. At all. On any level. In any way. In any dimension, on any planet… Not happening. Got it?” he asked, speaking slowly so that he was sure the words would really sink in.

“ _Sooo_ ,” Keita dragged his words, throwing his arms to the side in a dramatic gesture. “All that hard work and you’re not even into guys? I showered for you! I even put on perfume. _Perfume!_ ”  
“Don’t you mean cologne?” Shinji asked dryly, to which Keita just scoffed and muttered: “I said what I said.”  
Shinji stared at him with a peculiar expression for a moment, before breaking into a light smirk.  
“Anyway. I don’t remember saying _that,_ ” he replied with a casual shrug.  
“What?” Keita asked, blinking slowly.  
Shinji just smirked. “That I’m not into guys. Into _you,_ on the other hand…”  
Keita’s mouth fell open as he watched Shinji walk away. Not even he was oblivious enough to miss the soft look the other boy gave to Yutaka when the two reunited near the school’s entrance.  
So that means…  
“Ah, _maaan_ ,” Keita whined quietly. “But I’m so much taller?!”  
  
Keita had to admit, after working so hard on getting used to the idea of him and Shinji together, it felt a little disappointing to be rejected. He supposed he should be relieved.  
So how come he was not?

**Author's Note:**

> I've meant to finish this for a while but gotten distracted by other WIP. Needless to say I enjoy this kind of crack-writing the most. I think the most unrealistic thing about this fic is that Keita notices anything different with Shinji at all.


End file.
